Jed Wolf

Slut shaming was rampant when I grew up and unspeakably worrisome for gay boys. The perception someone taken advantage of is lying, or to blame for not reporting their sexual abuse in this culture is stunning.

I had no idea I was even a victim as a young teen because I believed it was my fault. Only many years later did I suspect I might be only partially to blame. My secret ran and nearly destroyed my life.

I couldn’t handle anything as a teen, especially the sexual advances of a teacher. Student/teacher sex was rampant in the 70’s, as was being plied with alcohol as I was, repeatedly. I thought it was normal and a rite of passage to adulthood which I could/should/tried to handle, but ultimately could not. Everyone I knew had sex and became incoherent frequently. Combining the two earned everyone a badge of honor and solidified my alcoholism.

After depression, terrible relationships and overwhelming shame, I finally sought therapy in the 90’s and was told had I been an “out homosexual” and emotionally healthy, it wouldn’t have happened. I still have mixed feelings about talking about this publicly. I empathize with these tentative Kavanaugh victims and their clumsy handlers.

In case anyone suspects what takes victims so much time to raise our hands then blow a terrifying whistle, why “me too” victims need one-another’s coat-tails and why our timing seems suspect, this is why.

To call our revolt simply a political smear campaign or a con game overlooks the human nature of our resentment, the peer pressure of the times we grew up in which continues to this day and yes, thank heaven, it is political. The timing is precise and best of all, it’s retribution, SO FUCK YOU.